Bad to the Core

What’s so great about apples? I don’t get it. Apples are boring. You eat an apple when there’s nothing better. It’s a last resort fruit, like last resort panties. If a genie popped out of a magic lamp and told you that you could have any fruit in the world, would you choose an apple? … More Bad to the Core

How to Overeat

Gluttony is not your fault. If food wasn’t this good, we wouldn’t have a problem. That’s why I’m blaming the food, the farmers who grew it, the chefs that made it and God for creating it. But as a true foodie and glutton, we know that behind all the sharp digestive pains, gassy sleeps, acid … More How to Overeat

Childhood Cravings

You could say cartoons inspired my obsession with food. I was 8, a meat virgin, with a mother who told me Doritos were invented by Satan. Growing up with no sugar or processed food and soggy tofu dogs for lunch, cartoons became my food porn. Most girls would be able to tell you what color … More Childhood Cravings