An Ode to Bacon

I just want to start off by apologizing for my last post. Who was I kidding? Did I make it to the gym this weekend? Yes. For 5 minutes of spin that intensified my hangover to such a point I had to leave the facility. From now on I’ll leave the healthy preaching to my sister, and the gluttony to me. To redeem myself I thought an ode to my favorite fat would be in order. I think that you will find this to be a little more “me.” Enjoy~

 

An Ode to Bacon

 

Oooooh bacon. My only weakness. Why do you have to be so tender? So juicy? So tantalizingly fatty? Why must you come from the gut of a pig?

I spent many years without bacon in my life. Many joyful years of low cholesterol, low trans fatty happiness. A time when Fakin Bacon used to cut it. That was before real bacon entered my life like a whirling tornado of grease and landed me straight into bacon heaven.

I’m not addicted. I don’t actually buy the stuff. I sniff it out. I go to restaurants with the thickest maple bacon and suggest someone order it. “Oh look, you get a side breakfast meat. I hear they put horrible things in sausages, you should probably go with the bacon.” Usually I can convince them. Poor suckers. They order a whole plate of those crackling tender strips, not too crispy with lots of fat. Just the way I like it. Then when they aren’t watching, I sneak a bite. Or a couple bites. Sometime I take the whole piece to the bathroom and devour it. Usually I just pop it in my Gucci bag and eat it hours later in the comfort of my closet. Did I mention I don’t eat red meat? That’s what bacon does to me.

 

What’s your weakness?



4 thoughts on “An Ode to Bacon

  1. Oh Spoondles, it has been way too long…..Stuffing bacon into Gucci bags and going drunk to spin class, I got nothing but respect for this post. I'm glad we agree that, with out gluttony we would perish…….Keep writingYour Friend johnny Apple Seed

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